


The fire within us

by jvngfs



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4905853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jvngfs/pseuds/jvngfs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Woohyun wants fame and Sunggyu has money.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The fire within us

**Author's Note:**

> Partially inspired by the Greek tragedy of Medea and Jason. The story takes place in today's world though.

The city, solemn and majestic, spreads before Woohyun; skyscrapers brushing the clouds, people bumping into each other and the ocean, wide and slick stretching out as far as the eye can see. Woohyun is a bit lost, a bit dazed, a bit out of his head but full of hope and dreams. 

Woohyun is a singer, a good one, with a sweet voice and strong high notes. Woohyun wants to become an artist. He came all the way from his hometown to this place, the city where he knows everything can happen. He wants to make it, to sign a contract and bring out an album out of the hundreds songs he already wrote in the dim light of his room. He's young and hopeful and ready to do whatever it takes to succeed.

-

He rents a room in a cheap hotel for a few days, using all the money he saved during the past few months, until he'll find a producer and a way of making money from his singing. He's a bit worried at first, not knowing what to do to meet the right persons. He tries it out at a few companies, leaving a CD or asking for an audition but the answer is always the same; they don't need anyone right now and Woohyun feels defeated. 

He was aware since the beginning that it wouldn't be easy and that his talent only wouldn't be enough to succeed but as the days go by and as he experiences repeated failures, he starts to lose faith.

He stays like this a few weeks, knocking at producers' door every day and getting negative responses, using up all his money to pay for his room and yet not making any progress.

-

He meets Sunggyu by sheer luck at a party he sneaked in because he thought some producers would be here. Sunggyu isn't one; he's too young and too pretty for that, going around with his clean blue shirt and white pants. But Sunggyu spots Woohyun first, probably curious about what he's doing here, with his big confused eyes and his black sweatshirt. He finds him beautiful and fascinating and everything he never saw in any other human being before. Sunggyu looks at him and looks at him again from afar and knows from that moment, as clearly as he knows the most obvious things of life, that he will fall in love with him sooner of later. 

Woohyun is sitting on a chair, outside, looking out at the view offered by the house overhanging the city. He seems a bit nervous, a bit scared to interact with the others but he knows he should try to because he needs someone to produce him. He needs someone to believe in him and help him fulfill his dreams.

"Who did you come with?" Sunggyu asks casually as he plops down the chair next to him, eyes shinning with wonder, and Woohyun almost jumps, startled. 

He looks at Sunggyu, at his hand gripping his glass, at the way he cocks his head while he waits for him to respond and he tries to come up with a lie pretty quickly. "With a friend. I was invited because I'm a singer." Woohyun doesn't know why he says that out of anything but he feels like he should expose his purpose clearly. He doesn't want to be kicked out before he got to gather a few phone numbers.

If Sunggyu feels suspicious, he doesn't show it, only raising his eyebrows and nodding knowingly. "I see," he says with a smile, "I should have guessed."

Woohyun straightens on his chair and looks properly at Sunggyu for the first time. His golden locks cover his small eyes almost completely, contrasting with his pink lips and white skin. He appears to be quite young, around Woohyun's age, or maybe it is his both cheerful expression and cynical answers that give that feel. Woohyun doesn't know yet but he'll learn soon enough that Sunggyu is very different from the person he seems to be, way more lonely, way more serious than this easy-going guy who suddenly gains interest in him.

"Why is that?" Woohyun inquires, maybe a second too late but curious nonetheless.

"Because you don't look like the people I usually see around here."

Woohyun frowns. "Is it a bad thing?" 

Sunggyu shrugs and takes a sip of his drink. He waits for a few seconds before he fixes his gaze back on Woohyun. "So what kind of music do you do?" He seems genuinely interested and Woohyun feels a jolt of joy spring in his chest. Maybe Sunggyu can help him. Maybe Sunggyu knows what he should do to meet the right people.

He takes a moment to think before answering. He isn't sure what kind of music he does; he just sings. "I mostly sing ballads but I like other stuff too. I came here to find an agency actually," he admits finally, scrutinizing Sunggyu's face to detect if he knows something about the music industry.

But Sunggyu suddenly laughs like it's really funny. "It's not here that you're going to find one," he tells him but Woohyun doesn't get it. Sunggyu must notice because he adds, "There aren't many producers here and they wouldn't give you their contacts anyway."

Woohyun's face drops and his disappointment must show because Sunggyu shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Woohyun needs to find an agency, he has to make it here, he can't just give up. Woohyun sought for recognition and fame his whole life. "What's your name?" Sunggyu questions again, probably trying to change the subject or maybe it is because he's scared Woohyun might leave after he heard there isn't any good opportunities for him here. 

Woohyun hesitates, wondering if revealing his name isn't dangerous considering he isn't really welcomed here but then concludes he has nothing to lose. "Nam Woohyun," he says and Sunggyu nods, quiet for a few seconds like he is taking time to decide if it suits him. 

"I'm Kim Sunggyu," he finally announces, extending his arm for a handshake and his palm is soft and his fingers long and white and they linger just a bit too long against Woohyun's palm. 

There's a moment of quiet acknowledgment before Sunggyu jumps to his feet and tells Woohyun, "Come with me." Woohyun is a bit confused at first but follows nonetheless, thinking that no matter who Sunggyu is, befriending people around here can't be a bad thing. 

The sun is just about to set when they find themselves in the spacious kitchen - where Woohyun feels like he's intruding but where Sunggyu moves around with ease - and Sunggyu starts making them cocktails. "Drink up," he orders him once he's done and Woohyun obeys, gulping down the too sweet liquid and watching Sunggyu greeting the few people passing by. "Is it good?" 

"Yes, it is," Woohyun lies but Sunggyu seems satisfied. They rest against the counter of the kitchen and watch the people chatting and dancing outside for a while. "Do you know any producers?" Woohyun suddenly almost whispers with coyness and a bit of embarrassment creeping up his cheeks. 

Sunggyu chuckles. "Are you asking to be introduced?," he jokes, raising an eyebrow and smiling brightly at Woohyun who responds a small "yes".

"I could do that," Sunggyu offers with another chuckle, "if you're good enough, I mean." Woohyun agrees, thanks him, almost begs him to give him a chance, tells Sunggyu he's desperate for it, that he would do anything, that he needs his help. 

And Sunggyu, listening to him, sets up a meeting for a few days later, at his place so they can talk about it. Woohyun is hysteric with excitement and relief, barely containing himself from jumping on Sunggyu to hug him. Sunggyu seems to like it too, smiling and secretly rejoicing that he will get to see Woohyun again, that he managed to find a excuse to meet with him another time.

It all happened too fast, one hour at a random party in an expensive house was all it took for Woohyun to meet the person he needed to; someone nice and understanding who found him enough qualities to consider giving him a chance to become a singer. Sunggyu too, met the person he always looked for; someone who needs him and will stay by his side for as long as he can offer him fame and recognition.

-

Sunggyu's house turns out to be as big as every houses in the city, with huge windows and an endless swimming pool. Woohyun feels almost shy knocking at the wooden door and then walking on the too white floor. 

"Oh, you're here," Sunggyu says when he reaches the living room, as if he's surprised to see him here when in reality he was waiting for him nervously and his insides can't help but twist when he appears before him, bathed in the sunshine passing through the windows. "Did you bring your music?," he asks as he gestures for Woohyun to come sit on the couch.

"Yes, I did." He takes a deep breath as he opens his bag and takes out a pile of messy papers. "But it's not that great yet," he informs him and Sunggyu answers a quiet "it's okay" that means "it doesn't matter because it's you I want to hear". 

Woohyun settles comfortably on the couch, adjusting his fingers on the guitar and then he starts singing. It's a sweet but sad ballad about missing a lover and Woohyun's voice flows over the music smoothly, giving goose bumps to Sunggyu whose eyes can't leave the veins popping out on Woohyun's neck as he squeezes the notes out of his lungs. 

When it's over and Woohyun turns around to look at Sunggyu expectantly, Sunggyu can't help but feels like he is roughly being pulled out of his sweet thoughts. He swallows hard, trying to think of something nice to say but all he knows is that he's falling more and more for Woohyun, for this guy he knows nothing about but his voice and his dream and it's scary.

"It was great," he finally manages to squeak and Woohyun's eyes lit up, "You have a great voice. I definitely could find some producers that would be interested." 

Woohyun thanks him deeply, smiling widely and asking Sunggyu tons of questions about the producers he knows and what he should do to be casted. Sunggyu answers all of that, agree to everything Woohyun wants because he doesn't want to let him go, he wants to make him love him no matter what it takes, no matter what he has to do.

Sunggyu explains that his father has some connections in the music industry and plenty of money beside that. Woohyun is quite surprised at how lucky he is to have found Sunggyu, to have met such a lonely person who was only looking for someone like Woohyun, someone that could give him some thrills and someone he could sacrifice everything for. 

Sunggyu gives him a warm smile when he sees him to the door and Woohyun decides that Sunggyu is nice and welcoming and the best person he could have encountered when coming here.

Woohyun is feeling light and happy when he goes back to his hotel, heart racing in his chest and anticipation of what will happen next making it hard to fall asleep that night.

-

Sunggyu calls a few days later, excited over the phone and announcing to Woohyun that he managed to find a company that might be interested. Woohyun bolts up in the hotel bed he has been staying at, rushing to the bathroom to wash up and to put on some decent clothes before he's running in the streets to go to the meeting.

He arrives a bit early and panting, greeting Sunggyu with a smile nonetheless. Sunggyu smiles back, squeezing his hand too softly for a proper handshake but probably as excited as him, if not even more.

"Are you nervous?" he questions when they enter the huge building decorated with a logo Woohyun doesn't have time to read. 

"A bit," he admits, rolling up his sleeves as they reach the elevator in an attempt to cool down a bit, feeling too hot because of the nervousness, "Do you know them well?," he asks a bit worried. 

Sunggyu hums, pushing on the fifth floor button delicately. "They're working with my father," he informs him, "I'm sure they'll like you," he adds confidently and Woohyun tries to believe him. They have to like him. He won't have many other chances like this one.

 

The producers make Woohyun sing for a long time - different songs each time -, faces cold and brow furrowed, patiently listening until he finishes and takes a deep breath, anxiously looking for something in their faces that will tell him he's taken.

"He's not bad," one of them states in the end and the other nods. Sunggyu gives him a smirk too, mouthing a "told you". Woohyun thanks them profusely, feeling relief surging inside him.

"We could offer you something," the other adds, "Ballads singers are the trend right now." He tells him in a rather matter of fact tone and Woohyun feels a sudden new confidence rushes into him. 

Sunggyu looks relaxed too, cheerful even. "Do you think you could make an album out of the songs he already wrote?" he asks and they consider it for a few seconds. Woohyun's hold tightens around his guitar as he waits for their answer.

"Maybe. We'll have to talk about it. We'll re contact you." They conclude the meeting like this, with a polite handshake and a question to Sunggyu once they're at the door "how is your father going?", to which Sunggyu lies that he trusts them to make the best out of Woohyun's talent. They smile widely at Woohyun after that who never felt so happy before.

 

Once they're out of the building, in the bright sunlight, Woohyun's hand comes to rest on Sunggyu's shoulder who flinches slightly and he tells him how thankful he is for what's he doing. Sunggyu answers that it's okay, that he's doing it because Woohyun deserves it but Woohyun knows how lucky he is and how Sunggyu looks at him; with a mix of admiration and fascination.

-

After that, Sunggyu drags him to endless parties and introduces him to fancy friends. He makes him laugh, makes sure Woohyun is enjoying himself, is careful that everything seems easy for him and it is. Woohyun feels blessed, feels like he could drown into Sunggyu's affection and never recover. 

For Sunggyu, Woohyun is addictive. Sunggyu isn't sure if it's because of the adrenaline rushing through his veins when they're together or because of the musky scent Woohyun always wears but it makes Sunggyu dizzy and he always has to reach and search for Woohyun's skin. He always feels the need to spend time with him, to make him happy.

They start spending all their days together, start to live and breathe together. Woohyun is introduced to famous producers and is everyday one step closer to fulfill his dream and Sunggyu loves all of it because he would be ready to do anything for Woohyun. He likes when Woohyun looks at him with a thankful look, glitters in his eyes because he feels needed and loved and that's everything he ever wanted.

Having the connections makes everything easier for Woohyun. The producers call back a few days later with a schedule for the recording of his album and new songs to practice on. They congratulate Sunggyu for finding such a great musician and Sunggyu is all smiles and laughter and gifts for him. Woohyun accepts all of it.

-

They are one day away from finishing up Woohyun's album and they're driving back from the studio to Sunggyu's home, the car sliding quietly along the road, slowly coming up the mountain. It's already dark outside and the sky remains without the stars to lit them up but Sunggyu stayed with him until the end, encouraging him and bringing him tea to soothe his throat. 

"Why are you doing all this for me?," he questions suddenly because he feels the need to as his hand brushes against Sunggyu's resting on the gearshift. 

"Because I want you to succeed," Sunggyu answers like it's that simple but Woohyun knows it isn't. He shifts on his seat, taking a good look at the darkness spreading in front of them and he wants to ask Sunggyu how far he would be ready to go for him but he doesn't. Instead, he smiles and speaks in a light voice.

"What if I don't?" he counters, "What if the album fails?" 

Sunggyu's expression darkens and his grip on the wheel tightens. "I'll make sure it doesn't," he states confidently and Woohyun hums. He doesn't know yet how powerful Sunggyu is. He doesn't know how scared he is that Woohyun would leave if his album fails.

After a few seconds of silence, Sunggyu's face relaxes and he glances toward Woohyun. "What do you want to eat tonight?" 

Woohyun shrugs, anything is fine. "Anything," he tells him.

"We should order something healthy, you need to take care of yourself if you're going to become a singer," he says and Woohyun agrees, leaning his head against the window and wondering if Sunggyu will really stick with him until the end because without him he has nothing.

-

Woohyun is aware of Sunggyu's feelings, of the weight of his gaze on him, of the way his eyes stay fixed a little too long on his neck or the way his breath hitches when their shoulders brush. Woohyun knows because Sunggyu doesn't even try to hide it, helping Woohyun to succeed when he doesn't really have to, always asking him to be around, waiting for the moment when Woohyun will surrender and give himself to him. 

Woohyun doesn't try to push Sunggyu back or to refuse his feelings because he knows he needs Sunggyu. Sunggyu is his only way to make it here. He has the connections and the power and the money; everything Woohyun doesn't have. 

Woohyun doesn't dislike Sunggyu but he doesn't like him as much as him and he just hopes Sunggyu doesn't notice. He just hopes Sunggyu will help him until the end. Sunggyu is a good person, a nice one, really passionate and intense and someone who could make Woohyun a star.

-

Woohyun is practicing every day. He will soon have to perform live and he doesn't want to mess up anything. Sunggyu encourages him a lot, listening to him and trying his best to point out any flaws in his interpretation. 

Usually he sings in Sunggyu's living room where it's quiet and comfortable and where he spends most of days anyway. Sunggyu made him move into his house a few weeks ago after he learned Woohyun was staying in a cheap hotel room far away from the studio. Sunggyu's house is big and has enough rooms to welcome Woohyun. Since then, he brought his things, his guitar and decided that Sunggyu's living room would be his practice room.

Today he's singing a soft ballad, almost a lullaby when Sunggyu's fingertips comes to scoot over his shoulder, in what is meant to be an innocent touch but every fiber of Woohyun's skin becomes alert as he breaks into a shiver. He closes his eyes and tries to control the crack of his voice. It is hard to sing with Sunggyu's hand resting on him like this. It's hard because Sunggyu's touch is demanding and reassuring and Woohyun isn't sure he can deal with that.

He is immensely thankful for what Sunggyu is doing but he knows Sunggyu isn't doing it by pure charity; he's doing it because he fell in love with Woohyun the second he saw him, love surging through him and settling in his chest to never leave. Woohyun, on the contrary, isn't that much interested. Sure, he likes Sunggyu, he finds him attractive and sweet and he could definitely enjoy his company but what is scaring him is the asymmetry of the feelings between the two of them. 

What none of them know however is that Woohyun's greed is enough to fill up his lack of love.

-

Sunggyu isn't a perfect human being, even himself is aware of it. He always involves himself too much in everything, is always ready to give up on everything he has for something he likes. He has always been like this, since the beginning he was throwing a tantrum each time he didn't have what he wanted or when he was being confronted to difficulties. He's scary in a way, scary because he's too much. Always too much. Especially since he met Woohyun and he realized he was ready to give him everything he has in exchange for his love. 

Sunggyu knows Woohyun might not like him or might leave him after he completed his album. He tries not to think about it, to ignore the fear every time Woohyun is looking away when he evokes their future together. He knows he can't buy love with money or fame but he hopes he will become important enough in Woohyun's life so he won't leave him. 

Sometimes Woohyun gives him a genuine smile or talks honestly about his feelings, hinting that he likes him back, that he enjoys the time they spend together but then he always changes the subject when Sunggyu tries to put a name on their relationship, on why Woohyun accepts to let him rest his arm around his shoulder and on why he has been living with him for months now. In time like that, the worry is back in Sunggyu, tearing him apart, clawing at him from the inside and making him tremble all over.

-

A few days later, Sunggyu receives a call late at night to congratulate Woohyun on hitting the charts and to make an invitation for a TV show appearance. He's that close to fame and to be able to perform on stage like he always wanted to do. Sunggyu thanks the producers, hang up and looking at Woohyun he says, "You're going to appear on TV."

Woohyun's eyes widen, lets out an incredulous "what?" and then realization hits him and he smiles widely, laughter bubbling up out of him. "Seriously? When?," he presses Sunggyu who nods enthusiastically too, happy and somehow relieved he succeeded in giving Woohyun what he was looking for. 

"In a few days. They'll call back tomorrow," he announces, standing up to move closer to Woohyun who stands astonished in the middle of the living room. "I'm so proud of you," he tells him but the truth is - and Woohyun knows it too - it's all thanks to Sunggyu because he's the one who made everything possible.

Sunggyu flings his arms around Woohyun's waist in an awkward hug, taking notice of the twinkling in his eyes or the way the slight tremor of his body betrays how excited he is. Sunggyu thinks that he should maybe wait a bit and asks for Woohyun's approval before but he's also aware that right now is the perfect time.

He leans forward of a few inches, nose bumping against Woohyun's and he whispers, "I'm going to kiss you, okay?"

Woohyun makes a shocked sound and then swallows hardly, "Yeah, okay," he replies, watching Sunggyu coming closer until their lips meet for a split second before Sunggyu steps back, titling his head as to judge Woohyun's reaction.

Woohyun nods to slowly in agreement, his eyes fixed of the pink of Sunggyu's mouth before he's closing his eyes again and they're kissing for real now, lips entangling and breath turning ragged.

Woohyun's lips are plump and wet and smooth and they fit so perfectly with Sunggyu's that he wonders why he didn't kiss him sooner. Sunggyu presses himself a little bit closer to Woohyun when he opens his mouth to whisper a muffled "Sung-" because he wants to taste as much as he can of him, to eat all of Woohyun until the burn in his chest decreases and he will finally feel satiated. They crush into each other hardly and feverishly and Woohyun's hands raise to get caught into Sunggyu's soft locks. 

When they pull back the unblemished skin of Sunggyu's neck is flushed and he's looking at him with something like hunger filling his eyes. Woohyun shivers, trying to regain of bit of his composure. He is self-conscious of how wrecked he must look, of how his lips are bruised and tingly and swollen and how Sunggyu's dark and needy eyes dig into his skin like pickaxes.

"I'm sorry," Sunggyu apologizes then, breathing labored and looking suddenly shy. 

Woohyun flattens his t-shirt with his palms and tries to ignore the slight layer of sweat covering his skin as well as the tickles in his belly. "No, it's okay," he answers, "I mean, I liked it to," he says because he really did but also because he knows it's what Sunggyu is waiting for. 

Sunggyu's head springs up, a smile breaking on his face and he takes another step forward to peck Woohyun's lips before backing away for real to go to sleep. "Good night," he tells him as he closes his room's door and Woohyun slides down the wall until he's crouched on the floor and he wonders what he'll do tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. He's unsure on how he'll be able to give Sunggyu enough love, if he'll be able to date him like he's expecting him to because Woohyun never cared about anything else but his music and himself before. 

-

In the waiting room, as two women bustle about around him to apply his make-up, Woohyun fiddles nervously with his hands. Sunggyu is sitting next to him, trying to get him to do some small talk to relax him but he can't hear anything but the buzzing in his ear and see the paleness of his face in the mirror. 

"Woohyun-," Sunggyu sighs as he puts his warm hand over his forearm and Woohyun jumps, Sunggyu's touch bringing back memories of kisses and whispers against the shell of his ear, "Calm down. It's going to be okay," he tries to sound reassuring but Woohyun can tell he is a mess of nerves too. Sunggyu must be as anxious - if not more - about him doing well.

"I know," Woohyun answers nonetheless because he doesn't like it when Sunggyu point out his flaws.

 

"Woohyun, you're called for standby," one of the staff announces suddenly and Woohyun stands up to follow him along nervously, Sunggyu at his heels, mumbling words he thinks will help him feel better. It doesn't really because Woohyun has never been on a tv show before and he doesn't know how to behave in front of the cameras nor how to be funny nor how to display his charms so people will love him.

So instead he just sits there and answers the questions he's asked politely, laughing when he needs to and singing his song when he's required to. He avoids looking at cameras focused on him or at the heavily makeuped face of the interviewer but stares at the front where he thinks Sunggyu must be watching.

Sunggyu is indeed there, eyes fixed on him, listening closely to his answers carefully and praying mentally that everything will go well. Woohyun is still awkward, he can tell but he's also cute and lively and he's sure the public will love him.

The public has to love him because Sunggyu wouldn't accept Woohyun to fail. 

When Woohyun comes down, he's in a daze, searching immediately for Sunggyu to hug him tight and to share with him the relief that everything happened without incidents. Sunggyu hugs back, patting his back and praising him and not saying how much he's happy Woohyun is satisfied with him and will stay a bit longer by his side. 

 

They go back to Sunggyu's house in a van they rented, still under the adrenaline in the car and chatting about the show and the questions he has been asked. The talking is innocent and what they are used to but Woohyun notices the twitching of Sunggyu's fingers on his lap as well as how he's scrunching his eyes shut when Woohyun is talking as if only his voice is painfully pleasurable to hear. Woohyun notices but doesn't say anything, taking Sunggyu's hand in his and feeling the pulsing of his wrist's veins against his fingertips. 

 

Sunggyu crushes him against the wall as soon as they pass the door and Woohyun kisses back as eagerly, still running into the euphoria from earlier, gripping Sunggyu's clothes so hard that the wrinkles will stay printed forever. Sunggyu is melting under his touch, his body coming to push against his, ragged breathed and frantic with need.

Something warm spreads from his stomach down to prickle his fingertips and the usual sweet look on Sunggyu's face changes, turning into a lustful one and Woohyun just feels the urge to crash into him and kiss him until he can't breathe no more. 

It takes seconds or maybe minutes before they are naked on the couch, Sunggyu lying above him, his lower lip trapped between Sunggyu's teeth and he's squirming, hips jolting up to search for contact. 

It's funny in a way, Woohyun thinks, that they're doing this for the first time in this living room where he practiced for weeks, Sunggyu by his side, in this innocent place where Sunggyu's interest in him turned into desire. It's like they're spoiling it because Woohyun is pretty sure he won't ever be able to sing there without images of Sunggyu's white and lean body hovering him popping up in his head. 

Sunggyu's movements are clumsy and he's hurried, licking each piece of skin he has access to like he had been starving, leaving red marks all over Woohyun's chest like he wants to mark him. And he probably wants it, wants to make sure Woohyun is his and Woohyun complies, hips bucking up when Sunggyu's pretty hand wraps around his shaft. He accepts every bits of Sunggyu's affection, enjoying it even, seeking for more. He feels his face redden when he notices Sunggyu watching the tiny pearl of precome forming at the tip of his member. Sunggyu too can feel arousal slowly pooling in his belly until his whole body is prickling and he knows he has to let Woohyun touch him to appease the ache.

He inverses their position so Woohyun can press onto him, limbs tangled and pupils dilated. He reaches down Sunggyu's stomach to grab his cock too and he pulls on it a few times, just enough to draw little moans out of Sunggyu. He can tell he's already on the edge, thighs quivering and writhing under him impatiently.

Soon they're lined up against each other, bodies sliding together, skins oversensitive and just grinding, Woohyun's hips flying up to push against Sunggyu's hips, his cock digging in the flesh right there. All kind of sounds are escaping Sunggyu's throat, sounds that make Woohyun's tremble and wish for this to go on forever.

He tries to control himself though and not to shake too much when he fumbled with the lube and then when his fingers are inside Sunggyu and he's clenching so hard around him he thinks he might just come from that. He's holding Sunggyu's legs spread, stroking his inner thighs and pushing and scissoring his fingers as quick as he can because he's just too hurried right now.

Finally Sunggyu whispers, or moans a small "It's okay, Woohyun," his hand coming to wrap around his bicep to drag him over him again. He doesn't need to be told twice before his fingers are out and his hands are set on Sunggyu's hips and he's pushing his cock inside, stopping a few times in the process to let Sunggyu accommodate and leaning forward to kiss the pain away. Sunggyu emits a quivery mewl into his mouth as Woohyun pushes in, his member stretching Sunggyu wider than he has every been but at the same time, finally coming like a release to satisfy the fervent desire he was feeling.

When he's finally seated inside, Woohyun takes a deep inhale that comes out as a shaky breath. All of his nerves are frayed and his whole body reaching forward to merge into Sunggyu's when he finally starts moving, their eyes meeting for a second and making the world comes to a stop. 

He sets a pace right away, enjoying the way Sunggyu's body arches under him and how he's moaning louder and louder. He doesn't care much about taking his time or making it last anymore because he just got his first TV show today and he's still euphoric. And Sunggyu looks beautiful, bathed in the dawn lights, bent under him, sweating and moaning because of him. He thinks he owns him just that much for making his dream possible, he owns him this much pleasure and this much affection, if not more and he's ready to give it all to him because he never liked anyone like he likes Sunggyu right now.

Sunggyu is slipping beside the cushions of couch because of the intensity of Woohyun's trusts and he has to lift him up to make him rest back against the armrest. Like this he can see the dark blue swimming pool behind him, and the city slowly waking up and when he looks down he's met Sunggyu's small eyes staring right at him ready to shower him with love.

The new position makes him readjusts and Sunggyu moans louder this time, muscles clenching all over and his mouth opening wide. It doesn't last long, a few pushes, before Sunggyu's cock is twitching and he's coming all over their stomachs. Woohyun follows, head in the crook of his neck and hips erratic.

After that, they sag against each other, spent, trembling and sweaty and Sunggyu's heavy breathing fanning over Woohyun's neck. His mouth is dry and his heart is racing but he somehow feels happy. Sunggyu mumbles something against his shoulder, along "i'm sleepy" and "stay with me" and Woohyun shifts so he can hug him from behind, chest pressed against his back and hand resting against his flat stomach. 

-

Sunggyu pays for Woohyun's album, from the recordings to the stage outfits and even the promoting. He pays for everything and helps him so well that it isn't long before Woohyun's songs are topping the charts and he's called for numerous interviews and photo-shoots. He isn't a star yet but on his way to become one, and he can talk proudly about how he comes from nothing and is trying to make it. Sunggyu watches over him of course, advices him and tells him he loves him when they're back in the car and the singing crowd still resound in Woohyun's ears.

Woohyun starts living the life he always wanted to live, he's enjoying the recognition and the praise and his busy schedule. He's invited to appear on TV, to perform every day and soon he's making money and the days go by really fast that he barely registers it has been already one year since he met Sunggyu. 

Their lives slowly change. It started with Woohyun hanging around, practicing in Sunggyu's house and being thankful for everything to them dating and living together and Sunggyu driving Woohyun to the radios and TV stations and trying to get him as many appearances and articles out in the press as he can. 

Woohyun is becoming famous and starting to experience what it feels like be a celebrity and to earn tons of money. Sunggyu likes it too. He's proud. He's even more satisfied than Woohyun is fulfilling his dreams thanks to him. He likes that he's the one responsible of Woohyun's success and that he owns him.

-

Sunggyu's heart beats wildly in his chest, thrumming against his ribcage as he watches Woohyun sings on stage for the first time, long thin fingers wrapped around his mic and muscles flexing as he squeezes the notes out his lungs. He looks beautiful and Sunggyu's desire settle in his stomach immediately, reminding as an old chant how much he needs him.

 

"Are you happy?" Sunggyu asks once Woohyun comes out of the stage with shimmering eyes and wobbly legs and he asks that like it's the only thing matters, the only question he ever wanted to ask Woohyun.

Woohyun nods and answers a shy "thank you" that has Sunggyu's heart flipping. 

He could never be happier, because Woohyun is with him and he's succeeding. 

Those are the moments that makes Sunggyu believe they will be careless and happy forever.

-

It's a phone call at first that makes Sunggyu's face drop and pace around the room for a while. When Woohyun asks what's wrong, coming to hug him and kiss his bare shoulder blades, Sunggyu shrugs and lies that nothing's wrong.

Then the phone calls keeps coming and Sunggyu locks him himself in the room every time as to stop Woohyun from hearing what he's saying. He always comes out a bit shaken, a bit uneasy, going to the kitchen to drink a huge glass of water and telling Woohyun not to worry, that he has everything under control.

But he doesn't and Woohyun can tell, worry and curiosity slowly creeping out inside him and making him eavesdropping on Sunggyu. It's not what he would usually do because Sunggyu is the nicest person he ever met and he always shares everything with Woohyun; always ready to do anything he can do to please him. 

Woohyun can't make up any of the words but he catches the way Sunggyu's voice wavers and how it raises abnormally at the end of his sentences. Woohyun isn't sure if he's angry or sad but either way it's far from the usually silly and sweet voice Sunggyu usually talks with.

 

When he comes out and almost crushes into Woohyun, he asks with a uneven voice, "What are you doing?" 

"Tell me what's going on, hyung," he tries to sound firm but to make his tone sweet because he knows Sunggyu can't resist it. "Tell me so I can help you."

Sunggyu hesitates a bit and then hunches his shoulders like he's giving up and sighs loudly. He suddenly looks really tired and Woohyun reaches to caress his cheek. "It's my father," he says in a hushed voice that has Woohyun stepping forward to hear, "he noticed that I spend lots of money for you and he learned- I don't know how, really, who told him? - he learned that we're living together and he doesn't like it," Sunggyu finally admits, frustration bringing tears to his eyes.

Woohyun tries to digest what Sunggyu just said, to decide if it means Sunggyu will let him down and ask him to leave or not and to analyze the implications of Sunggyu's father not supporting them. "Does he want me to leave?," he asks tentatively, his fingers curling to massage Sunggyu's nape, "Is that it?"

Sunggyu nods quietly and adds, "But I won't leave you. I told him, you know. He just keeps calling, threatening to cut off my money or to come himself to throw you away but I won't let him." Sunggyu sounds confident and so loving, oh so loving that it makes Woohyun's guts twist. 

"What if he does come here?" Woohyun's assumption, said in a small voice, almost to himself, comes from the worry outweighing his first shock. Sunggyu is all he has here, the only one he can count on and if they were to be separated, Woohyun's dream would shatter. And that, Woohyun can't let it happen. Sunggyu reassures him, saying it won't happen and if he does come here then they'll just send him away but he can see the frown on Sunggyu's face and can hear the unsureness of his voice.

He knows it won't be easy because all of Sunggyu's money - his house, his car, the recordings he's paying, everything - comes from his father and if he was to lose that, then they wouldn't have anything left. Sure, Woohyun is slowly earning money but definitely not enough to pay for the promotions and outfits and their house and their whole standard of living. 

 

That night, Woohyun lets Sunggyu take him while lying on his side, hugging him tighter than ever, eager kisses being scattered all over his nape and Sunggyu's raging heart beating against his spine. He lets him whisper "i love you" to his ears, praying that they won't be separated, that Sunggyu won't abandon him because of the pressure from his parents or because he'll get tired of him. He needs Sunggyu too much.

-

One month barely passes before the door bursts open in a loud bang and a tall man comes in, walking straight to the living room and then to the swimming pool where Sunggyu and Woohyun are curled up on a deck chair, oblivious and losing themselves in each other's warmth. Sunggyu sees him first, bolting up to stand straight, arms crossing defensively and asking, "what are you doing here?"

"Is that him?" The man asks back and Woohyun understands then that it's probably Sunggyu's father. They look alike in a way, sharing the same small eyes and pointy chin, but with the difference that Sunggyu's gaze is tender when it stops on him while his father's is hard and unforgiving. 

"Don't touch him," Sunggyu warns when his father takes a step forward and Woohyun one backwards, unsure on how he should react, if he should leave or stay or even apologize. But he understands that it wouldn't matter because his father already took his decision. 

He's angry, almost fuming, barely containing himself when he calls Woohyun an opportunist and gold digger who turned his son into a disgusting creature. "Dad, stop," Sunggyu begs, trying to calm him down and Woohyun can't do anything but listens silently, motionless. 

He says they're sickening and shameless and that Sunggyu betrayed him and Sunggyu holds his gaze and retorts that he's in love. Woohyun never felt so embarrassed before, stomach jumping up and down in his belly, his face flushing and trying to intervene between them but it's useless. He doesn't have a word to say because he did enjoy Sunggyu's connections and money. He can't even calling him on his homophobic remarks because he has no right to, having no place to be between them. So he can only look at Sunggyu and waits for him to tell him what to do and hopes he won't let him down, that the words he told him were sincere and that he will do anything so they can stay together.

Woohyun waits, watches them fight, sees the tears pouring out of Sunggyu's eyes but doesn't say anything.

After his father leaves, they find themselves sitting beside each other on the swimming pool's edge, the extremities of their jeans getting damped in the clear blue water and Woohyun's hand resting on the small of Sunggyu's back naturally, like a reassuring warmth pressed against him, like Woohyun is telling him he's right there, next to him.

And Sunggyu says they will make it, together, that Woohyun will become a great well-known singer and that he will always be there to love and support him.

-

They are forced to leave three days later when his father threatens to sell the house, Sunggyu's car and to cut off all his money if he dares staying around any longer. Sunggyu keeps repeating that it's alright, that they'll figure something out as they pack urgently and hurry to the airport. Woohyun doesn't really believe him because Sunggyu always tries to make everything easy for Woohyun while he worries on his own but still, this time it's different.

They know they're leaving with money, Woohyun's album and love to accompany them but Woohyun is scared of how much Sunggyu has to renounce to - his own family - to stay with him and from that point, he understands how wide and deep Sunggyu's feelings are for him. Him who wanted nothing but someone to produce him.

On the plane, Sunggyu falls into a restless sleep, one that makes him ponder if he took the right choice; if choosing Woohyun over his own family was something he should have done, something he won't regret later. He knows it's too late to back away now anyway and that he wouldn't dare trying to live without Woohyun next him anyway, not now that he got a taste of what it is like to be with him, to breathe in the thin skin of his neck and to hold his hand tightly. 

"I'm sorry," Woohyun says once the lady put their food in front of them and Sunggyu really hates to hear those words in Woohyun's mouth. Woohyun, on the contrary, worries that Sunggyu might be regretting what he's doing, might think Woohyun isn't worth it.

Sunggyu stops eating to look at him properly. "Don't be," he assures him like everything is alright. But Woohyun knows it isn't. 

-

They land two thousands miles away from their house, in a bright but busy city with millions of unknown faces passing by them without a look. Sunggyu rents a house in the suburbs and they unpack as quickly as they packed, like nothing changed, like everything is still the same expect that they're a new place and on their own.

From that point, Sunggyu's family stops calling, saying that their son is dead for them and acid tears drop down Sunggyu's face sometimes when he thinks Woohyun isn't looking.

Woohyun's album works well and he's called to attend more and more TV shows and events, reporters describing him as a talented soloist with an honey-like voice and Woohyun never felt so happy before. Sunggyu too, because Woohyun's smile is what gives him joy and they live almost peacefully. 

Sunggyu comes with Woohyun to his schedules, makes sure he's doing well, is always there in the shadow to watch over him and to encourage him.

They go out to drink with other artists friends on some nights, cuddle behind closed doors during boring after parties and talk about commitment and future when they're in the mood. It's the easy life Sunggyu sacrificed everything for. It's the successful life Woohyun always wanted. 

-

The night Woohyun wins his first award, they're ecstatic, bubbles of laughter coming out of them, adrenaline rushing through their veins. Woohyun goes up on stage to give a short speech, thanking his company, his producers, the staff he worked with and Sunggyu who remained with him even during difficult times. The fans cheer for him, the MCs handing him his trophy and the sense of achievement that surge through him is the best he felt in his whole life.

Sunggyu's eyes are twinkling with pride and happiness when he comes down and pecks him on the lips, holding the award tightly against his chest. "Congratulations," he whispers and Woohyun answers that it is all thanks to Sunggyu. Sunggyu chuckles, replying that he would do anything for Woohyun. 

 

After that, they attend the after party where the music is loud and the champagne flows freely. Woohyun's hair are slicked backward and he's still wearing his suit but he's dancing anyway, alcohol making him excited and satisfaction taking over him. He feels euphoric, realizing how far he went and how he almost made real the impossible dreams he had fifteen years ago when he was still a kid singing along to songs broadcasted on the radio.

Sunggyu stays seated most of the night, chatting with the other artists and drinking a lot, watching Woohyun here and there just to check he's enjoying himself. He never felt so alive before. It feels as if they managed to do the best out of everything. It doesn't matter anymore if his family rejected them because they're successful and happy and independent.

When he notices that Woohyun is talking to a girl from afar, he doesn't really care. Woohyun is easy-going and kind and always chats with everyone who wants to. He mingles easily with other people. However, Sunggyu doesn't see them exchanging numbers nor does he see Woohyun's eyes lit up as he speaks to her. 

Sunggyu doesn't want to see it, the greed and ambition in Woohyun's eyes. He doesn't want to believe he still has them after all he did for him, after he made him the star he wanted to be. But it's still there, well hidden behind the smiles and giggles but like a beast crouching away in the shadows and ready to jump out.

 

It all goes too fast, without Sunggyu knowing, before he even realizes something is going wrong. Woohyun starts calling her, she starts coming to see his every rehearsals and he invites her over for dinner more than once. Sunggyu doesn't worry at first because Woohyun says she's friend and she's from a good family and he doesn't think Woohyun likes girls anyway, not when he spent years pressing kisses to his face and thank him for everything he did for him.

But Sunggyu is wrong because Woohyun sees in this girl his future and what she can bring to him, more than Sunggyu whose family doesn't want him and who doesn't seem that rich and powerful anymore.

He asks Woohyun one day when they're in the waiting room and he's playing distractedly on his phone. "What about her?," Woohyun plays innocent but Sunggyu still worries.

"You spend a lot of time with her." He tries to sound casual, not accusative or jealous but he must be because Woohyun sighs, annoyed. 

He shrugs like he wants to dismiss it as nonsense. "She's a good friend. From a good family. It's good for business." Sunggyu doesn't believe him but doesn't push further in, deciding to trust him for now, like he always did.

-

The news arrives like a tornado; sudden and unexpected, terrifying and like a stab in the back.

"I'm going to marry her," Woohyun announces one night as they're coming back from a radio show and Sunggyu is trying really hard to pretend he doesn't know about what Woohyun is doing lately.

He halts in his track to turn around and look at him. He's wearing an old sweater that's torn under the armpit and hasn't been wash in a while and he looks suddenly really young, features tensing in an expression of shock and lips trembling slightly. "What? What did you say?" Sunggyu doesn't want to admit he heard properly.

"I said I'm going to marry her," Woohyun repeats, "In two months," he adds and it's like hands are clasping around Sunggyu's throat, suffocating him and making him dizzy. 

"What about me?," he squeaks hardly, panicked, walking toward Woohyun in a desperate attempt to make him change his mind, to make him take back all his words. 

"We-," Woohyun hesitates, "We're over," he states, whispering and Sunggyu doesn't want to believe what he's hearing, thousands of thoughts flying through his head without really finding an answer.

"What do you mean?" Sunggyu rasps, refusing to understand but Woohyun repeats it again; "We're over," discomfort settling in the lines of his forehead and it makes Sunggyu sick. 

It's so sudden that Sunggyu wants to pinch himself to be sure he didn't hear wrong but Woohyun is looking at him with fierce eyes and a determined expression and Sunggyu just collapses. 

He should have known, from the beginning that Woohyun was unpredictable and only pursuing his career and own interests but he never wanted to believe it, thinking that if Woohyun stayed with him it was because he liked him and not because he needed money and producers. But it was all it was ever about; Sunggyu producing him and Woohyun eventually gave himself to him because it was convenient and it made Sunggyu think that they were actually something. 

-

Suddenly, Woohyun's absence is everywhere. Sunggyu hadn't realized how much time they spent together and how he got accustomed to just having Woohyun next to him, how he took him for granted. Sunggyu is on the brink all the time, unsure if he's going to survive the torture he's being put through, or if he's going to lose himself too. 

At first he tries to cope, to pretend all this isn't happening but then one day he turns on the TV - by habit, he didn't really mean to - and he sees him laughing and chatting on a TV show and he realizes that it's really over. Usually he would have been there with him, waiting backstage, laughing at his silly jokes too but he isn't and that girl he's going to marry is probably there, watching him with loving eyes and it just makes Sunggyu sick.

Sunggyu liked Woohyun the moment he saw him, from his brown unstyled straight hair to the way his plump lower lip were giving him a pouty expression. He liked everything about him, even the way Woohyun laughed always too loudly or how he enjoyed making dorky faces to amuse him; he liked it all. And he still likes all of it. He surprises himself smiling at nothing when he remembers their good times together and then he blames himself that he shouldn't because it only makes everything more painful.

Sunggyu wonders, almost pleading if Woohyun forgot all he did for him, all the nights spent holding him, the hours fighting his own family to have a chance to be together.

Sunggyu doesn't know what he should do, if he can just pretend nothing happened and erase years of his life and so he's torn between giving up to sorrow or pursuing revenge. Revenge seems like a good option at first, something that will make him feel better, something that will make Woohyun pay for what he did. 

He thinks about it for days, torturing himself with the thoughts he has, procrastinating the moment he will have to make a decision. 

He ends up giving up to anger and violence because tears and time don't seem to heal his wounds. He feels as if making Woohyun suffer will be the only cure to his pain.

He starts planning his revenge, pondering about what he should do, if he should just go there and kill him but he knows he doesn't want him to die. Sunggyu wants him to live but to live hated, poor and homeless and to regret Sunggyu's love for the rest of his life. He wants him to feel an equal pain to what he put him through. 

 

He calls him one afternoon, when he isn't sure if he's going to beg him to take him back or to hate him for the rest of his life. Woohyun's voice sounds distant, annoyed even, like he wants to forget they have ever been together and Sunggyu can't take it. 

He knows - he learned from one of his friend - that Woohyun is marrying her because she's from a prestigious family, because she owns one of the most powerful music agency of the country, that he doesn't love her like he loved Sunggyu but still, he can't accept it. He can't stay still and let his lover reject him over money and fame. He needs to make him pay, to give him a taste of what pain is really about.

He hangs up feeling worse than ever, anger boiling inside him, making him shake and befuddling his mind. 

Sunggyu makes up his mind as the first lights of dawn break through the black sky, deciding to get revenge and to inflict him as much suffering as he deserves. 

 

He goes to the girl house one afternoon when he knows Woohyun isn't there. He's attending a recording for a music show and he won't be home until late at night. Sunggyu is aware that what he's doing isn't right, he's conscious that he shouldn't surrender to his death urges but it's been a while since he lost control over himself anyway.

The house is huge and full of cameras but Sunggyu doesn't care, walking straight to the door and knocking loudly until she opens, barefooted and wearing a loose white dress. "Kim Sunggyu?" she says, surprised, almost scowling, "what do you want?"

But she doesn't have the time to finish speaking before Sunggyu took the knife out of where it was squeezed between his back and his pants and directs it to her stomach, the blade digging into her abdomen without resistance. She stumbles backward, hitting the wall, blood spreading all over her dress and then she falls on the floor, coughing and Sunggyu remains frozen for few long seconds, before he's stepping backwards too, in a daze, closing the door and running back to his car where he rests his head between his palms, crouched over the wheel until he feels okay enough to turn the engine on and leave.

Awareness of what he has done seeps back into him as he parks in front of his house and notice the small stains of blood scattered over his sand-colored shirt like spurts of paint made by a clumsy kid. He rushes to the bathroom where he washes himself twice, rubbing his skin frantically until it turns red.

-

Sunggyu stays in his house, awake, restless, pacing around the rooms for two days. He doesn't dare to come out and risk to meet other people who would be able to see the horror and guilt painted on his face nor does he dare to fall asleep and face the terrible memories of what he did. 

He knows it was the right thing to do. He tries to convince himself. He does his best to push back the consciousness away. 

He tries really hard not to think about Woohyun and how devastated he must be or how much he hates him right now. Sunggyu likes the idea of Woohyun suffering, enjoys imagining him crying over her death and realizing that without Sunggyu he has no one but he can't bear to think that Woohyun might hate him too and sees him as an hideous murderer for the rest of his life.

He doesn't know if they found out he is the one who killed her; probably not or the police would have come already and his parents would have finally called after years of silence but deep inside, he can feel that Woohyun must know. Woohyun must be aware that Sunggyu can be the only one who could do such things for him - because of him. 

He isn't wrong because Woohyun knocks at his door that night, looking he hasn't sleep in weeks, dark circles and puffy eyes staring right back at Sunggyu.

"Is that you, hyung?" he asks immediately, pushing Sunggyu's away to enter the house - their house - and he stands there, lost and tiny in the middle of the living room. "Did you-" Kill her? Woohyun finishes in his head, physically unable to utter the disgusting words out loud.

Sunggyu exhales quietly, closing the door and leaning his back against it. He hesitates and then breathes out, "Yes." A silence. "Yes, I did," he repeats louder. The expression of disgust and disbelief that goes through Woohyun's face is enough to make him regret it.

"You're sick, hyung," he tells him, voice cracking and tone somewhere between desperation and anger. 

Sunggyu nods, acknowledging, "You're the one who made me sick, Woohyun." He can feel the tight skin around his eyes and the dry sob choking him up. He can't look at him anymore.

"You should have killed me instead," Woohyun tells him, scouting closer, menacing, "I'm the one who was at fault," he adds but he knows it's too late, saying all this won't change anything and Sunggyu is aware too, the revenge and rage that inhabit inside him all too familiar. 

He shakes his head, "No, I wanted to hit you where it would hurt the best, where you didn't expect it. I wanted you to suffer as much as I did, to make you pay for what you did," he tells him and he looks suddenly really old, like he already lived too much.

"Are you happy now?" Woohyun asks, accusative and voice shaking, huge tears pouring out of his eyes. To Sunggyu they look like little droplets of blood and he has to look away.

Sunggyu considers Woohyun's question but then he answers, almost laughing at the absurdity of the situation, "No, I'm not. That's the worst part. I thought it would have calmed my anger and give me peace but I think a thousand death wouldn't - won't." He finishes with a sad huff and Woohyun almost punches him, his fits coming to clench at his clothes, his contorted face incredibly close.

"Are you going to kill me then?," he spits it like a threat but Sunggyu doesn't bulge.

"No," he says, "You're already in pain. That's what I wanted. Now I'll just-". He doesn't know what he will do next, didn't think about it so he just lets his voice die down and Woohyun slowly lets go of him before he pushes him away, out of the door, to go out in a hurry, almost like he would do after seeing a monster.

-

Almost one week passes before Woohyun comes knocking at his door in the middle of night, when it's raining and Sunggyu doesn't expect it. 

When Sunggyu opens the door, Woohyun unexpectedly kneels, back bent and head low, and then he starts crying, huge tears running down his cheeks and he's begging Sunggyu to take him back. Sunggyu hesitates, says "stop it, Woohyun" but he's aware he's the one responsible for everything. The girl's parents probably kicked him out after they learned about their daughter being murdered, putting the blame on Woohyun who realized that his blinded ambitions ended up as giving him the worst punishment; becoming exactly what Sunggyu predicted he would become.

Woohyun's skin still feels the same when Sunggyu seizes his forearm; smooth and silk-like and he can only swallow and pretends he isn't affected.

"Please leave, Woohyun, you'll catch a cold," he tells him, trying to sound distant but he can't really be, because it's Woohyun, the one he had been ready to kill for and he's begging him for forgiveness. 

Woohyun sobbing only intensifies as he chants until his voice cracks, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I made you that way." Sunggyu should be feeling great, relieved, that he managed to make Woohyun this miserable but something seems to rip in his chest instead, making him want to crouch next to Woohyun and bury his head in his neck until they forget about everything.

"You have what you deserve now," he retorts though, bitter and Woohyun just nods, answering that he never wanted things to turn out this way, that he never loved the girl but wanted the opportunities, blaming himself for making Sunggyu a murderer. Sunggyu would have usually replied that he loved each ones of the moments and influences Woohyun had on him but he isn't sure anymore. His hands are red-tinted and his soul has darkened since they met. He had been ready to throw everything away for him, because he loved him, he cherished their relationship like a gem but Woohyun only ever pursued his own interest. 

In a way, he's happy that Woohyun snapped out of it and realized what he has done, all the suffering he put him through and how the glory didn't bring him anything valuable. He lets out a heavy exhale and speaks with a calm voice. "You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't ask me for forgiveness because it's too late. You should be mourning your dead fiancé now and forget about your murderer ex-boyfriend." The words taste like stones in Sunggyu's mouth. He tries to divert his eyes from the curled up figure in front of him. 

"How can I forget?" Woohyun almost laughs incredulously. "I don't want to watch you destroy yourself because of me." A silence and only the crackling of the rain against the ground to fill it. "I still love you," he says in a whisper and this time it's Sunggyu's turn to laugh.

"You're sicker than me, Woohyun. I just killed your girlfriend," he repeats, words acid on his tongue and Woohyun only lean a bit forward. He's completely soaked and Sunggyu too but it doesn't matter because they both know it might be the last time they see each other. 

"I'm so sorry," Woohyun says again, hands coming to grip Sunggyu's shirt and Sunggyu lets him. He wishes he could feel good and satisfied because he managed to make Woohyun this sad and to lower his pride to the point where he's ready to beg him to put an end to his misery but he just can't. "I didn't tell anyone it was you, you know," he whispers against his chest, almost whimpering. "Because I'm guilty too."

Sunggyu scoffs incredulously, wondering for a second how they became that way, them who had everything to be happy; Woohyun's success and their mutual love. "You didn't have to, Woohyun. I'm not scared of the consequences," he uncurls Woohyun's hand that is still holding his shirt, "I don't care anymore." 

Woohyun cries harder at that and asks, "Will you ever forgive me?" 

Sunggyu thinks about it, aware that they both have many things they're guilty of, things to ask forgiveness for. "I don't know," he answers honestly. Woohyun nods.

"I love you," he says and it breaks Sunggyu's heart just a bit more. 

He stands up then, telling Woohyun once again to go home and then he comes back in his house, closing the door and as he sags against it, he finally allows the tears and anger to come out. 

 

He gives himself up to the police the next day.

 

He makes it to the TV news, his parents pay for his court fees and he ends up being locked up in jail for four years. He got lucky, having a good advocate and enough money to pay for a reduced time inside. 

-

He sees Woohyun on TV sometimes when he's at lunch and the TV is turned on the video clips channel. He looks good, with a new hair color every time he appears and always with the same wide smile and cute eyes. He doesn't look like someone who lost his fiancé and had his ex-boyfriend convicted for murder. 

Sunggyu thinks it's better that way. 

He probably suffered a lot on his own after he left and that he still managed to get back on his feet, he thinks it's amazing. He tries not to wonder too much if Woohyun forgot about him or how he succeeded in becoming a famous singer on his own. He tries not to think about Woohyun at all.

-

He gets released on a sunny afternoon.

They give him his car and house keys back after they took him out of his cell and then he is sent outside. It feels weird, scary even but Sunggyu doesn't want to think about it. He wants to forget all of what happened and to start over; to learn how to live with his healing scars. 

 

He starts walking away after a few minutes, leaving behind him the huge grey buildings he spent four years in when a car stops next to him. Sunggyu doesn't notice it at first because it's been a while since he's been outside but then the door opens a familiar voice says, "get in." 

Woohyun's hair are blond this time and he's wearing expensive clothes and that is all Sunggyu can figure out because he doesn't have time to ask "what are you doing here?" before Woohyun's mouth is on his, coming to kiss him like an old enemy, pushing against him aggressively, with wet cheeks ruining his make up and he's saying, "I waited for you so long".

Sunggyu lets him because he craved for it as much as Woohyun. 

There's a moment of hesitation during which Sunggyu isn't sure what it means and what he should do but then it hits him that the rage inside him died down a long time ago to be replaced by the painful loneliness caused by Woohyun's absence.

And Woohyun is there in front of him, kissing him like he missed him too and holding him like he's ready to sweep away the past.

And Sunggyu accepts because it's Woohyun that's asking and he has always been ready to do anything for him and will always be. And that is because Sunggyu is convinced that one can only experience true love once; the real painful and heart breaking love that gifts a person with forgiveness and passion.


End file.
